Puppies for pensioners, a niceness tsar and environmental police: an exclusive list of what LibDems are asking for

What exactly is the problem?  Why are both major parties struggling to reach any kind of agreement with those sweet, easygoing Liberal Democrats? Here, in an exclusive leak from the negotiations, is a list of what they are currently demanding: Colourful woolly jumpers for all TV newsreaders (to cheer everyone up!). The compulsory singing of John …